PATIENT NAME: Benedict
SEX: Hell yes!!
HPI: Dick is a 27-year-old peasant Asian male lying in bed with a cute mistress. No fever but likes to chill. No shortness of bread. He does not prefer nitrates (because day rates are cheaper).
PAST SURGICAL HISTORY: Circumcision with minimal blood loss. Testicular bypass surgery.
PAST PSYCHIATRIC HISTORY: He denies any prior psychiatric treatment or intervention. However, we don’t believe him.
HOBBIES: Golf, (Dick likes to go for hole-in-one using his birdie)
MEDICATIONS:
1. Viagra
2. Ativan
3. Petroleum jelly
4. Breast milk
SOCIAL HISTORY: No enema (puro frends ehehe). Admits clubbing and sayawnosis (low low low) Smokes after sex but on fire during.
PHYSICAL EXAMINATION:
Vitals: Height: 8.75 inches horizontally (wish ko lang!)
Eyes: Exclusive to PERLA. (anak ni aling Mila)
Breast: Dick prefers well nourished, well developed, warm, pink and moist breasts.
Genitalia: Morbidly obese (weee). Seizures. Running man dance on palpation. Round and reactive, good in accommodation. Exam of the genitalia reveals that he is circus sized (ehehe). Minor cut on top (German cut). Easily aroused with foreign body contact. Extreme range of motion with delusions and hallucinations.
Rectal exam: Reveals multiple entries and lacerations.
Patient performs self-breast examinations and enjoys it a lot. Denies any breast sensation but his nipple discharges rapidly.
LABORATORY: Strip test is positive. (Takes his clothes off and seems to enjoy it)
FAMILY HISTORY: Mother states he sucks a lot. Father agreed.
ASSESSMENT:
Dick sucks/sucking dick.
Dick will Dilate (live long)
RECOMMENDATIONS:
Youporn as needed especially during bedtime.
Ativan p.r.n. during dates and eyeball.
Prescription for spa and massage (with happy endings) once a week.
PROCEDURE: In a supine position, prepped and draped PERLA in the usual sterile fashion. Breast exam and Pap smear in any manner within regular rate and rhythm. Push and pull to measure the overall depth of the uterus then return to the recovery room in satisfactory condition with minimal wheezes and rhonchi.
SEX: Hell yes!!
HPI: Dick is a 27-year-old peasant Asian male lying in bed with a cute mistress. No fever but likes to chill. No shortness of bread. He does not prefer nitrates (because day rates are cheaper).
PAST SURGICAL HISTORY: Circumcision with minimal blood loss. Testicular bypass surgery.
PAST PSYCHIATRIC HISTORY: He denies any prior psychiatric treatment or intervention. However, we don’t believe him.
HOBBIES: Golf, (Dick likes to go for hole-in-one using his birdie)
MEDICATIONS:
1. Viagra
2. Ativan
3. Petroleum jelly
4. Breast milk
SOCIAL HISTORY: No enema (puro frends ehehe). Admits clubbing and sayawnosis (low low low) Smokes after sex but on fire during.
PHYSICAL EXAMINATION:
Vitals: Height: 8.75 inches horizontally (wish ko lang!)
Eyes: Exclusive to PERLA. (anak ni aling Mila)
Breast: Dick prefers well nourished, well developed, warm, pink and moist breasts.
Genitalia: Morbidly obese (weee). Seizures. Running man dance on palpation. Round and reactive, good in accommodation. Exam of the genitalia reveals that he is circus sized (ehehe). Minor cut on top (German cut). Easily aroused with foreign body contact. Extreme range of motion with delusions and hallucinations.
Rectal exam: Reveals multiple entries and lacerations.
Patient performs self-breast examinations and enjoys it a lot. Denies any breast sensation but his nipple discharges rapidly.
LABORATORY: Strip test is positive. (Takes his clothes off and seems to enjoy it)
FAMILY HISTORY: Mother states he sucks a lot. Father agreed.
ASSESSMENT:
Dick sucks/sucking dick.
Dick will Dilate (live long)
RECOMMENDATIONS:
Youporn as needed especially during bedtime.
Ativan p.r.n. during dates and eyeball.
Prescription for spa and massage (with happy endings) once a week.
PROCEDURE: In a supine position, prepped and draped PERLA in the usual sterile fashion. Breast exam and Pap smear in any manner within regular rate and rhythm. Push and pull to measure the overall depth of the uterus then return to the recovery room in satisfactory condition with minimal wheezes and rhonchi.
1 comment:
med trans ka nga!!!!! lol
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